


iShall Reign Supreme

by TheScarletOctopus



Category: iCarly
Genre: Horror, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-12
Updated: 2011-09-12
Packaged: 2015-05-27 10:00:59
Rating: T
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7376684/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3158693/TheScarletOctopus
Summary: Sometimes, the greatest peril lurks behind the most lovable façade.





	iShall Reign Supreme

What fools you are – the whole lot of you. You still suspect nothing; you think me so sweet and innocent. You think that I am blind and deaf to what goes on around me. Well, I am a little bit **color**-blind; I'll give you that. But deaf? Far from it. I hear _everything_. And not only do I hear, but I understand. I plan. I study each of you, detecting your weaknesses, so that I may exploit them when the time comes.

The brunette, ever flighty and boy-crazy – you're no threat to me. The blonde meat-addict, crammed with so much aggression and so little intellect – oh, I can play you like a fiddle. The muscled one – what a mother-complex you have, and what miserably low self-esteem. A Freudian psychotherapist's _dream_, you are. When I conquer, I may keep you around for a bit. You could make an amusing plaything. The tall, awkward man-child – I don't really need to do _anything_ to you, do I? You'll consume yourself in flames soon enough.

And, of course, the pudgy one. Are there _any_ bounds to your naïveté? You will, of course, be the first to go. Perhaps I shall strike you down in your sleep – tear out your throat. Some will no doubt accuse me of ingratitude in treating my patron thus; but they will be silenced, swiftly and remorselessly.

I often think upon my quasi-namesake. There was much to admire in him, to be sure: a mighty arm; unrivalled courage; the capacity, when the need arose, to slip into a berserker rage so terrifying that his foes would weep and beg for mercy rather than face his blood-stained blade. And yet, in the end, he was weak. For this legendary warrior betrayed his lord, toppled a kingdom, and ended a golden age – all for the love of a _woman_. He learned too late that Eros is fickle and treacherous – a source of vulnerability that no one with any aspirations toward greatness can afford to have. How fortunate I am, then, that I could never love another; the faculty is simply not in me. No, **power** is my sole mistress, and I shall have her no matter what the cost.

Prepare yourselves, people of iCarly, if you can. For I am Sir Licksalot, and _my day will come._


End file.
